Is anyone similar to me in the sense that when it comes to being productive, you just can’t pluck up the determination and drive? I know that I am not alone in this, and you will realise how hideous it is. A constant mind of apathy and disregard for one’s own work.
I, again, like many, have ideas and aspirations of what I what I want to achieve from life. Also, on the inside, I am a firm believer of the psychology that you should try everything once in your life, and not let a chance pass you by. But, the outside of me constrains me from a lot of that. It’s not always even my fault. People are as reserved as I can be, and that tends to ruin my attempts to leave such a constriction.
But, to be honest, I know what I need to be productive, and some of the petty critics of the things that-do-not-concern-them, but I think a romantic relationship is what I need. It’s fair to stay that I have been starved of such things for longer than most in this modern age and the constant waiting for such a thing just infuriates me. Also, I dislike being ‘reminded’ of how apparently pathetic it is to want such things that is crucial for a productive life. The constant reminders of my youth and all that kind of nonsense really aren’t in any way helpful. I don’t want to have to wait years for things to work in my life, thanks. You may be content with the mediocre, but alas, I cannot sit by when other people are getting something that I want my own of and i’m being told to ‘make do’. I thrive on the interesting, the different, the new, the challenging and most of all, change.
I adore change, and it doesn’t happen as much as I would want it to. I get so sick of the consistency of everyday life and it’s expectancy. Repetitiveness and boredom are just things that I cannot sit still and take and sadly, I get it more than most. I’m not sure why.
But, hopefully, I’ll be able to keep a constant update of this page for you, dear reader.
Thank you for reading this departure from usual form for me to have a little rant, I hope you enjoyed.
